I just got back from Nashville.
Well… kind of.
We stayed just outside the city at a place called the Barnstead—a barn dominium owned by Barb Stackhouse (yes, the one who brought Profit First for Dentists into the world… no big deal).
If I’m being honest, I still have moments where I sit back and think…
How did I get in this room?
Not in a questioning way—but in awe.
The people I get to be around. The conversations I get to be part of. The spaces I get invited into.
It’s not lost on me.
This wasn’t a tourist trip.
Instead, it was five of us from our group of seven, all part of the same business community, all wired a little similarly, all trying to build businesses that actually mean something.
However, this didn’t start as a business trip.
It started as a prayer group.
We were already connected through the Profit First community, but Barb had the desire to bring together a small group of women in business who also share a foundation in faith.
A space where we could pray for each other.
Encourage each other.
Walk through life and business together.
Seven of us said yes to that.
And over time… it became more.
Not instead of the prayer—but because of it.
It turned into real connection.
Real conversations.
Real life.
And this trip was the extension of that.
Turns out when you start with prayer… you don’t stay surface-level for long.
A Honky Tonk Lesson I Didn’t See Coming
There’s something powerful about being in a place that knows exactly who it is.
On Thursday night, we went to a local honky tonk.
Not the crowded, chaotic kind—the kind where the band knows people by name.
They knew Barb and Kevin. They interacted with the crowd and worked for tips, which meant they were there to connect, not just perform.
It felt like a new-age Cheers—and it worked.
Because they hadn’t lost touch with where they came from.
And in business… that’s easier to do than we think.
We follow trends.
We replicate what’s working for others.
And we chase what looks successful.
As a result, somewhere in there, we can drift from what actually fits us.
This place didn’t drift.
It stayed grounded in what made it work.
And that was the reminder:
You don’t have to follow the crowd to build something meaningful.
Also… a 91-Year-Old Was Out There Doing It Better Than Me
There’s something different about watching someone who is fully present in their life.
There was a 91-year-old woman on the dance floor.
Classy. Put together. Moving with purpose.
Not rushing. Not proving anything.
Just there—being, enjoying, participating.
And in that moment, it made something really clear:
That version of life doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s the result of years of choices.
And if I’m being honest, there have been seasons where business got my best… and everything else got what was left.
That moment didn’t feel loud.
But it was clear.
So yes… message received.
Horse Training, Energy… and What’s Really Driving It
What you carry underneath you will always show up—whether you intend it to or not.
Friday morning, Barb demonstrated how she trains her horse, Duke.
And it became obvious very quickly:
This isn’t about the horse.
It’s about energy.
The horse responds to what you bring into the space.
And what hit for me was this:
When you really want something—connection, belonging, acceptance…
and at the same time, there’s a fear of rejection underneath that…
your energy shifts.
Subtly. But significantly.
That tension of:
“I want this… but, I don’t want to be rejected.”
And when that tension is there, it can create the opposite of what you’re hoping for.
Which creates an imbalance.
Not just externally—but internally.
In your peace.
Your joy.
In how you show up.
And I didn’t fully recognize it in the moment…
but looking back, I could see where that exact shift was happening in me throughout the trip.
Yes… I Talked About a Monkey in a Devotional
Sometimes the simplest things create the most meaningful conversations.
I shared a devotional I had written—and yes, it included the Punchkin monkey.
And the funny part?
They hadn’t even heard of it.
Which was a reminder in itself—something can feel like it’s everywhere… and still not reach everyone.
But that was kind of the point.
Taking something from everyday life—something current, something relatable—and connecting it back to Scripture.
Then talking about it.
Hearing how it lands differently for each person.
That’s where the depth comes in.
And honestly, that’s why I write things like this.
Because doing business doesn’t make us not human.
And building something successful shouldn’t cost us who we are.
If anything, it should be built on it.
The Ryman, The Opry and Getting the Full Picture
Understanding something changes your relationship with it.
We toured the Ryman Auditorium and went to the Grand Ole Opry.
And I realized…
It’s not that I didn’t like country music.
I just didn’t fully understand it.
I live in Bakersfield—this is part of our culture. The Bakersfield Sound is known in Nashville.
And yet… even being surrounded by it, I didn’t fully appreciate it.
My exposure had been limited.
My understanding was surface level.
And that’s normal.
We all do that.
We form opinions based on what we’ve seen, heard, or experienced briefly.
But when you take the time to learn the history…
who shaped it
what it meant
how it evolved
You see it differently.
And that applies far beyond music.
Because life is bigger than our perspective.
And sometimes the full picture requires us to step outside of it.
A 4’11” Legend… and Me Playing Small
What shows up externally can shape what happens internally—if we let it.
At the Opry, they honored Little Jimmy Dickens.
4’11”.
And his impact? Massive.
He didn’t let what was visible define what was possible.
But for me?
My size has also been visible.
And instead of just letting it be what it is…
I’ve allowed it to influence how I show up.
Especially in rooms like this.
With women who are incredible, polished, disciplined, fit.
That’s when the voice shows up:
“Maybe you should be smaller here.”
“You don’t quite fit.”
“Or maybe hold back a little.”
And on this trip—I could feel it.
Then I could see it.
I started to shrink.
My presence.
Participation.
And my willingness to engage.
In a room full of women, I genuinely want connection with.
And that’s where it clicked.
This wasn’t random.
This was the energy shift I had just learned about.
What Was Hidden in Plain Sight
Sometimes the thing you’re questioning… is real—you just haven’t been looking in the right place.
If you’ve been following me, you’ve probably seen me talk about lipedema.
And if not, I’d invite you to go read about it.
Because it’s been a big part of my journey.
There are so many symptoms that clearly align.
But one key piece—the nodules—hadn’t been obvious to me.
Which made me question it.
Question whether this was really my answer.
Question whether I was reaching.
But after getting home—after inflammation, swelling, and trying to soothe the discomfort…
I found them.
Not one or two.
A whole group.
Along the backs of my legs.
A place I don’t normally check.
A place outside my daily awareness.
But a place that’s been carrying a lot of my pain.
And it hit me:
It was never missing.
I just hadn’t been looking where it actually was.
And that realization goes beyond physical.
Because how often do we question something real…
just because it’s not obvious?
My Deepest Realization From the Trip
Awareness is one thing. What you do with it is everything.
On the plane ride home, I had time to reflect.
And I could see it all clearly.
Where I pulled back.
Where I shifted.
Where that “you don’t belong” narrative showed up.
And I realized something important:
That internal shift doesn’t stay internal.
It shows up.
And I didn’t want that to create distance.
Not in relationships I value.
Not in a space I’m grateful to be part of.
So I took a steps
I reached out to each of the women individually.
I shared what I was experiencing.
Not because they caused it.
But because I didn’t want my internal battle to create external disconnection.
And yes—it was uncomfortable.
But it was also freeing.
Because when you bring something into the light…
it loses its power.
And when you’re with the right people?
You don’t get judgment.
You get support.
What I’m Taking With Me
Clarity doesn’t always come in big moments—it shows up in small ones that add up.
- You don’t have to follow the crowd to be successful
- Taking care of yourself matters more than you think
- Your energy is shaped by what’s underneath
- Context changes everything
- And sometimes what you’re questioning… is just hidden in a place you haven’t looked yet
If You Needed This Too
If you’ve ever been in a room and questioned whether you belonged…
You’ve done the work and still feel those thoughts show up…
If you’ve been carrying something quietly instead of saying it out loud…
Take the first step.
Say the thing.
Let someone in.
